Give a colleague feedback they can actually use

Help me give a colleague feedback.

What happened: [specific situation, when]
The impact: [on the work, team, customer, me]
What I'd like instead: [specific]
Our relationship: [e.g. peer, I manage them, they're senior]
How they usually take feedback: [details]

Ask me up to 3 short questions first if anything important is missing. Wait for my answers.

Then:
1. A short script: situation, behaviour, impact, request. Under 80 words.
2. A written version for a message, if that's better.
3. What to say if they get defensive.
4. A version that also says what's going well, if that's true from what I've told you.

Only use what I've told you, leave blanks for anything I haven't given, and don't invent facts, dates or results. UK English.

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