Handle tantrums calmly when you're about to lose it too

Help me handle tantrums calmly.

Child's age: [age]
Usual triggers: [hunger, shops, transitions]
Where it happens: [home, public]
What I've tried: [list]
What I must not do: [optional]

Ask me up to 3 short questions first if anything important is missing. Wait for my answers.

Then:
1. An in-the-moment plan for the next five minutes.
2. Words to say (and not say).
3. A leave-the-situation plan for public places.
4. A short debrief for when they're calm.
5. When to seek advice from a health visitor, GP or NSPCC resources rather than only tactics.

Only use what I've told you, leave blanks for anything I haven't given, and don't invent facts, diagnoses or legal outcomes. This is help with wording and planning, not legal, medical or counselling advice; point me to GOV.UK, Citizens Advice, NSPCC (0808 800 5000), Childline (0800 1111), Samaritans (116 123) or Refuge/National Domestic Abuse Helpline (0808 2000 247) where that fits, and call 999 if anyone is in immediate danger. UK English.

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